Rainfall and sage

Today it is raining. It was a nice sprinkle but now it is really pouring, and it is spring time here so it’s not a bad thing. Hopefully with this rain will come new flowers, and more veggies in our garden.

Having such a large family, we decided to plant a decent sized garden, and see how much we can grow as opposed to buy. Food prep is a huge issue when you are feeding ten people per meal and school will be out soon so I am hoping that this garden works out and that gives me some fresh organic foods to feed the kids. It’s looking good so far; I already picked basil and parsley this morning.
So with this rain I hope for growth and new life. Not only in my garden but in my soul. I have been having a particularly hard time the past few weeks which is at best pathetic because we got married on May 2 and it is only May 30. But it’s true, shit has been rough.
No honeymoon phase is going on in this house.
Yesterday after a week of negative energy consuming my soul I finally went and bought some sage. I like to burn sage and cleanse my house of negative spirits. If you are reading this and thinking I am a weirdo, I am. But burning sage isn’t why…  Sage has antiseptic properties and has been used for years and I know it works. The first reason is because history says it does; the second reason is because I haven’t burned it in about 5 weeks and look at me now, a bagful of stress and misery. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
So I’m burning sage, the rain is coming down, I am going to take a hot shower and try to rejuvenate my inner self.
Lord I hope it works. I cannot let the outside stress of baby mama drama ruin my marriage 4 weeks in. It’s ridiculous….
It is true that being happy is a choice, and only one person can make that choice for me – myself. And since in my house I am probably the largest force, when I am down everything and everyone vibes off my energy.
Lot’s of pressure. Lots and lots. This past week I didn’t care much, but as Mom and wife; I have to care. Its so much easier not to give a fuck! For real. Laying in bed and crying and letting my house go to shit sounds so much more appealing than having to try to pick up the pieces, brush off and be the bigger person. Eating dirt sounds more appealing.
But I did not get this far in life by eating dirt with a blanket over my head….
So I shall burn my sage, try to be positive and keep folding laundry.


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